Cock Teasing and Columnist Confusing

Dear Jen,
My room mate and I have been living together for about a year.  He's straight, I'm gay, he's hot, and I'm losing my mind.  He has a girlfriend, but whenever she's not around, he flirts with me like crazy.  He struts around the apartment in his skivvies, and is always asking me to rub his neck (which I gladly do).  He knows I lust after him, but I'm scared to make a move because we have a great living situation, and I'm pretty sure he'd freak out.  I can't take it anymore.  What should I do?
- Want to Mate With My Roomie

Dear Mate,
"Straight" is the flimsiest word in the English language, second only to "never" and "just friends."  "Ooowah, could you give my neck a little rubskypoo?  I mean, could you rub my neck, dude?"  Puhleese - girlfriend shmirlfriend, Cocky McTeaserson is totally asking for it.  Whether or not he'll ever admit to that, however, is hard to say.  He may just be one of those selfish, insecure types who thrives on suckers like you shoveling coal into his giant ego furnace, and who'll act like you're delusional should your neck rubs wander to regions south.  Either that or he'll have his ankles around your ears so fast you'll think his ass is on fire.  Who knows?  But I think it's high time you found out. 

I say jump his straight bones.  Or at least have a little talkiepoo.  Either way, you don't have a whole lot to lose, because, contrary to what you think, you don't have a great living situation (that is unless you think living with a constant state of blue-balls is a good time).  Call his bluff, and then you can let the elephant out of the room and get on with your life.  Maybe you'll get laid, maybe you'll move out, or maybe he'll put some pants on and ask the person he's actually dating to rub his sore bits instead of you.

Dear Jen,
I am a 19 year old college girl and I'm a virgin. My best friend is not a virgin, but only has sex every 4 months because her boyfriend is in the army so she doesn't see him much. Lately she and I have been having sleepovers together. Usually we fall asleep cuddling in some way, my arm is always around her, and she rubs my arm until we fall asleep. The thing is, during the night, we always wake up and she turns toward me so we are facing each other.  Then we both start rubbing each others' backs and stomachs under our shirts and brush our hands along the sides of each others' chests. Then she puts her leg in between mine and I put mine in between hers and we rub up against each other for a while.  I don't know if she has had an orgasm when we do this, but I have.  We finally talked about it, and we both admitted we were turned on by it.  I want to know why this happens.  I'm straight but I want to know if I could become attached to her? I also want to know if it's weird that we do this?
- Stumped Snuggler

Dear Snuggler,
Every once in a while I get a letter from someone that sets off my freak alarm and I'm stuck wondering "is this really a horny 19 year old college virgin, or is it some sweaty Barely Legal subscriber, sitting naked on a towel in front of his computer with a boner and a Big Gulp? 

It's hard because I'd much rather err on the side of not making anyone feel bad, so most of the time I answer the question honestly and in good faith, but sometimes that backfires.  Take, for instance, this one older guy who wrote in about how he liked it when his wife insulted him while they were having sex.  He was very graphic in his letter, but, you know, I was proud of him for being so open and able to have fun with his wife, so I told him so.  The next week he wrote back:

Thank you for responding to my question and validating our activities.

I have another question.  After I cum in my wife, I will often go down on her and lick up all of my cum.  While I am doing this, my wife will tell me that it was a young, hung stud, who is half her age that made the deposit.  This excites me greatly and I continue to lick her with increased enthusiasm.  This always increases the force of my orgasm and hence the amount of cum I am joyfully forced to swallow. Are these cum games considered strange?

You know what I'm saying? I was eating when I read that, too.  I'm thrilled this guy has discovered he likes to share his sexual dalliances with the world, but it's terribly rude to foist it on people.  You should really get clearance first.  And while I realize  that it may be a bit confusing, what with me being all hey, sex, let's talk about it, whoo!,  I'm here to answer questions, not to get y'all off.  You have to pay for that.  And you have to pay someone else (incidentally, I can set that up for you if you wish). 

So who the hell knows who this letter is from?  Not me, which means I'm going to write "her" back in good faith and high hopes that this is genuine, and that more spew fodder isn't lobbed back at me in response.  Here's what I have to say.  Ahem:

There is nothing wrong or weird with two nubile, sleepy young ladies twirling their fingers around each other in the middle of the night.  You guys obviously like and trust each other, and the fact that you're both now enjoying the physical side of your relationship is an extra perk.  Yes, you can totally become attached, and may even find yourselves being girlfriends.  So what?  You sure as hell won't be the first straight girls to experiment your way through college.  In fact, those who've gone before you have even given you a name: LUG, or Lesbian Until Graduation.  Maybe you'll stick with it beyond the diploma, or maybe you won't, but either way, get it while the gettings good.

Stay tuned to find out if she writes back to tell me about the time she and her best friend were going at it in the group shower, when all of a sudden the rest of the girls in their dorm showed up and joined in.  Is that considered strange?