Freaked Out Feminists and Butt Bugs

Dear Jen,
I'm 20 years old and consider myself straight. However, I go to an all-women's college that happens to be full of hot lesbians, and I've been thinking more and more about experimenting, but feel like I'll have to do the whole "coming out of the closet" thing.  Also, when it comes the type of girls I like, I realize that I am a total womanizer! I tend to be completely shallow, only interested in stunningly beautiful, fashionable, skinny girls. Coming from a feminist, these thoughts scare the shit out of me. I feel like I don't deserve to try it. But since it's just experimentation, and most likely purely sexual, is this so bad?
- No Fat Chicks

Dear No Fat Chicks,
I personally cannot think of anything that would dry me up faster than feeling I had to argue my sexual platform to a university full of women after my very first cross-campus walk of shame.  You will psych yourself out faster than you can say "girls gone wild!" if you saddle yourself with so giant a task.  Right now you're merely looking to rent an apartment, not buy a mansion, so let's leave sexual politics alone and focus on getting you some hot supermodel ass.

The key here is to be sure of yourself, because if you're fine with who you are, you will be rubber, and anyone with an attitude will be glue.  So let's work on re-connoitering your perspective.  Here are some things you need to consider:
1.) Everytime you hook up with anyone it's an experiment, so defining it right off the bat is a big fat waste of time. 
2.) Broadening your sexual horizons is a beautiful thing.
3.) Plenty of lesbians who've slept with men still call themselves lesbians.
4.) You're attracted to who you're attracted to.
5.) Plenty of people have passed on sniffing up your skirt because they weren't attracted to you, and they weren't worried about being bad feminists.
6.) Chasing after chicks with hairy upper lips isn't going to make you a better feminist, just a dishonest one.

As I've learned from the bumper stickers on many a Volvo, "Feminism is the radical idea that women are people."  Why then are we portrayed as marching around in itchy wool socks with frizzy hair and permanent scowls on our faces?  I'm a feminist, all my hot and smartypants friends are feminists, yet should someone say, hey, "I'm going to a party with a bunch of feminists, wanna come?," my fight or flight instincts would kick in just as quick as anyone else's. Talk about a word that needs a serious face lift!  You and I have both fallen prey to this nasty perception - I propose we forgo the feminist fists for a more, "I dig my fine feminine ass and am going to make sure she gets exactly what she deserves, emotionally, financially, and sexually," attitude.  And if what that means for you is nailing only supermodels, then so be it.  Real sexual equality allows for all types of attraction, and as long as everyone involved is enjoying themselves, who cares what it looks like?

Dear Jen,
Can you get intestinal parasites from anal/oral play?  I enjoy giving and receiving this, but am sometimes a little bit shy about it for fear of picking up some nasty stuff.  Is this an anal-phobic myth or a reasonable concern?
- Got a Bug Up My Butt

Dear Bug,
If you think about all the little sex-given goodies out there  - crabs, warts, blisters, rashes, scabies, ulcers, hemorrhoids, discharge, jaundice, fissures, unidentifiable crusty stuff - it's a wonder any of us ever take our pants off.

You're correct in thinking it's possible to get parasites from performing analingus, but luckily, just like with the rest of this stuff, there are ways to protect yourself.  You can pick up protective barriers such as dental dams or Glyde dams at any good sex shop - then simply lay the sheet of soft, silky latex over their buttinsky and start licking away.  If you're caught up in a hot moment and don't have either on hand, grab some plastic wrap from the kitchen - it works just as well.  All will protect your mouth from making contact with the wormhole, thereby preventing you from ingesting the parasites and getting infected yourself (should your partner even have any, obviously).

And while I salute you for getting all the facts and being responsible, make sure you don't get so caught up with worry that you forget to enjoy yourself.  It's like sitting down to polish off an entire pizza and spending the whole time thinking, "oh this is bad.  This is real bad.  This is going straight to my hips."  It's totally pointless.  I know enough sluts to fill several locker rooms, and none of us have ever had a case of the bugs.  So just be smart and careful and start rimming your little heart out.