Work Jerks and Closed Holes

Dear Jen,
I started a new job two months ago and met this guy who I had incredible chemistry with.  We flirted pretty steadily for the first couple weeks, and then one day after work, he just blurted out that he wanted me to go home with him.  Which I did, and it was great, but that was three weeks ago and it's been really awkward ever since.  He won't talk to me, makes a point of avoiding me, and I hate that I have to see him everyday.  Especially since I want to sleep with him again.  What should I do?
- Business Booty 

Dear Booty,
For starters, you should stop making really stupid, irresponsible decisions.  Then you should work on your self esteem issues and try to figure out why dickheads who treat you with zero respect are so sexy to you.  Then you might want to avoid him, focus on your work, stop letting your inner whore call the shots, get over it, and learn not to poop where you dine. 

I have a theory that if you stick two people with the same sexual orientation (two gay men, a hetero man and woman, etc.) in a room, and keep them there for a long enough period of time, some degree of sexual tension will float to the surface.  I don't care how mealy-mouthed and beady-eyed they may be, if they're in the room with you, day after day, someone is going to let loose a pheromone or two.  Could be a big stinker, could be silent but deadly, but it will be there, lingering in the air, regardless of whether or not you'd be caught dead actually sleeping with that person.  Because it's not always about having sex, but more about making a subconscious nod to the fact that that person has a sexual side.  That sex is in the house, if you will.

That's just my theory.  And I bring it up not because I've had sex dreams about nearly everyone I've ever worked with including the mouth breather from human resources, but because I want you to know that your situation is not unique. In your case, the feeling was mutual, but feelings come and feelings go, and if you're going to see someone 40 hours a week, every week, every month, all year long with only two weeks vacation, I suggest you call off the horn dogs long enough to see if there's something good there.  If there is, proceed slowly and maturely, otherwise going to work can become a much harder job.

Dear Jen
I'm a virgin who's never slept with a man or a woman (though I'm interested in both).  I want to save my, um, penetration virginity until I get married, and am thinking my best bet would be to get a girlfriend.  Could I have the fullest sex life possible with a female lover without involving any penetration?
- No Go In My Hole 

Dear No Go,
The fullest sex life?  No.  A fully hot one?  Sure.  You could have a pretty ripper one with a guy too.  Or two guys.  And two girls.  And a police uniform.  And some shackles and a ping pong paddle or two.  Your clit is an outdoor pet, and since she's pretty much the ring leader when it comes to female sexual pleasure, keeping your insides off limits can still make for a pretty fun party.

I think it's real important to wait until you're good and ready to do whatever it is that you need to be good and ready to do.  So I'm glad to hear you talking like this.  But should your hole in the wall start screaming out for some company before anyone gets down on bended knee, I really hope you go ahead and stick something up there.  I respect you wanting to wait, I just don't get the point if you find yourself ready, willing, and able.  Because I can't for the life of me understand the whole virgin thing.  According to the rules, you could invite the entire population of Texas to line up and take turns fiddling around with your sexy bits, but as long as Mr. Johnson doesn't stick your V-shaped hat on his head, you're still a virgin?  A pure, wholesome, good little girl?

Plus, as someone who's walked the earth for several decades without ever having said, "I do," it seems such an odd goal.  What if you don't find a spouse until you're forty?  Fifty?  Ever?

I guess I can see how saving oneself could be a nice, romantic idea if you're under, say, twenty-three, but once you start piling on the years, it would start getting real old.  And real hard.  Real fast.  Nature hates a vacuum.  And honey, so do I.  I wish you the best of luck!